Old Time Religion

There is part of me that is fundamentally lazy or I aspire to achieve a state of laziness.  Lazy never works out for me.  Even on lazy rainy days like today, someone usually forces me into action.  Today Holland called me into action with a hostile high-pitched whiny repetitive nagging that forced me out of the house.  Holland was determined to visit a church because Miss +Donna McCown  invited us to attend. I am so thankful for Holland for many reasons but today I am thankful for her keeping me on track.

Is it just me or do people seem to lose their religion getting small children ready for church on Sundays? Maybe that is just me, or my family, because I remember thinking that same thing sitting in church as a child as well. Anyway, the kids and I loaded up and headed up the highway to Elkmont, Alabama to check out the Church of the Living God.  Please note that not only were we on time but we were fifteen minutes early. That right there is a modern miracle.

Being raised Church of Christ, growing up I did not visit many other churches.  Religion is fascinating to me. This was my first experience with a Church of the Living God, so I had no idea what to expect.  Brother Doug performed a wedding ceremony that I photographed last month and I said then I would love to hear him preach.  After having visited a small Methodist church earlier in the Summer, I at least knew to pack coloring books and markers for the kids when visiting small churches.

The service started off with everyone on their feet clapping and I liked that.  It might have been eleven o'clock but I really was half asleep and that woke me right up.  They really included the children in every aspect of the service and I liked that the children were included in the service instead of being excluded from the service. The children were also allowed to act quietly like children too as a couple of them toddled from row to row as they were passed among family members during the service.

The music was AMAZING!  Now, I LOVE ME some good gospel music.  This was not just good revival gospel music but it was good, Southern Bluegrass style gospel music.  They had a really diverse group of musicians that could really jam.  The main female singer sounded like Loretta Lynn and I loved that she had her grand-baby on her hip for a song or two.  The audience even called out song request to the band, so it truly felt like a jam session.

The service was inspirational for me and others as well because I do not think there was an eye in the house that did not shed at least a tear (from either happiness or sadness) at some point.   My two oldest children even paid attention.  The church was cold and I LOVE A COLD CHURCH because that means I get to cuddle up with my children.  There was lots of yelling and screaming of the word.  Not the kind of yelling and screaming because the speaker knows you are not listening but the kind where the speaker is so moved that they are 'in the word."  There were some other things too that I didn't really understand like going forward for small prayer circles.  Whatever was happening, it was good and I observed that people were truly feeling the word.  Donna's son and daughter-in-law were even saved and even thought I do not truly understand what that means entirely, I was glad I was there.

Afterwards, we were invited to eat with the preacher and his family.  The preacher lives out behind the church so that was really convenient.  My friend Donna happens to be the preacher's daughter, so that is how my family managed an invitation.  Big families are equally as fascinating to me as religion.  There were tons of people there and loads of little ones.  Anna had packed up the leftover candy and water guns from her wedding yesterday and sent them home with my children.  Naturally, I seized the opportunity and distributed as many suckers and water guns to those little ones as I could.  We had a great time and so did those little ones but we might not be invited back:).

Here is a picture Donna took of us at Brother Doug's.

Look, my children are all still and acting timid (temporarily at least)!

This evening, we walked out of our house and saw this rainbow!  It seemed fitting to see a rainbow on a church-filed rainy Sunday.  When Austin saw the rainbow he got excited and started running down the sidewalk yelling something about looking for leprechauns.  (Austin has been on a quest to capture either a leprechaun or Big Foot for a while now).  Jackson got really excited and asked if we should tell the neighbors that they had a pot of gold in their house, which obviously appeared to be at the end of the rainbow to Jackson.  While I was debating how to answer him, Jackson asked if we should just break into their house instead and that I knew how to answer!  At least he asked first...

Do Love and Marriage Go Together?

Today, I have been thinking a lot about love and marriage.  Not necessarily at the same time, mind you.  I am not entirely convinced the two things are even related.

It all started this morning when I heard this new song.  Suddenly, I thought I want to feel like that!

Infatuation is intoxicating and absolutely amazing.  Does love always fade into hatred?  Familiarity breeds contempt, right?  My marriage, thank GOD that is over, felt more like this song.

  
What I would like to feel like is more like this song (which is odd because I do not really like the song).  It is much more balanced - give and take. This kind of love is something that could stand the test of time.  Lasting love would be awesome because dividing your family, your assets and turning your credit and life upside down really, really sucks.  I could do without doing all of that again.

Tonight, I photographed a rehearsal dinner and tomorrow I will photograph my second wedding of the Summer.  Photographing a wedding is something I said I would never, ever do but both couples are young and so I VOLUNTEERED to photograph the weddings as a labor of love.  Tonight it was actually fun to observe young love and I was able to be excited for the couple (which is HUGE).  Young love just looks so carefree, easy and fun. The bridal party is walking in to "Let's Go Crazy" by Prince and walking out to "Kiss" by Prince.  Does anything get more fun than Prince?

Picking Your Battles - Yearbook Photos

Once upon a time, I dressed my children in elaborate, preferably monogrammed, boutique clothing. The first two children were immaculately groomed in their coordinated outfits and were, in my opinion, downright adorable. 

  

 

Then along came number three and this clothing practice was less practical.  Plus, with three children, it began to remind me of The Sound of Music.

That is when I became more practical and switched to just color coordinating their outfits to simplify our never ending laundry.

 It has been difficult for me to let go and let the children discover their own style. Jackson has gone through phases of cultivating a few looks, like the layered look and then the camo look last year, that I have not quite understood. Am I really supposed to understand everything?

Where I draw the line and lay down the law is church.  I dictate what is worn to church, there are guidelines for school and the rest can be debated along the way.  Athletic practice clothing has become a free-for-all and I just smile and wave and cheer even when I think they resemble small homeless people.

School yearbook photos were today.  Days in advanced, I asked everyone what they were wearing. I wanted to avoid last minute demands or surprises.

Jackson warned me well in advance that he was going to wear the most wretched, junkiest athletic clothing he could find.  He was clear about the fact he was going to school where his comfort is of the utmost importance in order for him to learn.  He was not wearing any stiff, fancy, dressy churchy clothes just because the school made him pose for a photo.

This morning, Holland dressed and groomed herself appropriately without complaint.  Austin selected a bright orange v-neck shirt which he obviously thought he looked good in because he seemed very confident wearing it.  I tried to get the image of Austin with a big handlebar mustache and chest hairs popping out of the top the shirt and a thick gold chain out of my mind.  Austin needed a haircut but since he is allergic to haircuts and my battle tolerance has been low, I decided the yearbook photo would be more appropriate with Austin's hair in a normal state.

Then there was Jackson.  Jackson came in wearing the most worn out, to the point of appearing retro, Alabama t-shirt that I had never seen.  I just smiled sweetly at him and reminded him to brush his hair.  He looked a little bewildered and deflated that I did not make him change but the battle was not in me.

From the beginning, I have said I do not make scrapbooks but I am collecting evidence files.  Too much has happened for me to worry about what other people think.  Too much has happened for me to worry about the small things.  If they want to have yearbook photos that are worthy of a best of the worst contests, then so be it!

If you saw my boys today and you wondered if I had forgotten that it was picture day, no I did not.  My children were sent off to school in a loving "state of grace."  I saved my battle for something bigger than school photos.  Plus, I never know when to expect the next war.

+Maryjane Johnson, is this from the Isaiah collection?  If so, that would explain why it is his favorite:).  Those boys are true buds.

Is This As Good As Reading Gets?

This is the first year I have exclusively helped the children with their homework. In my past married life, we had fancy things like tutors and extra child care but slowly and painfully most extra amenities are falling by the wayside.  Now we are kicking it old school.  I must admit that helping three elementary age children with their schoolwork is much more challenging than I had thought possible.

Jackson has been my primary child of academic focus this year.  Just being me or being Jackson is a challenge in and of itself. Get the two of us together to do homework and now you are talking some serious firework potential!

In the classroom, Jackson is only reading fourteen words per minute. At home, once he realized I was timing him, he took that as a personal challenge.  Now he reads in the fifty to seventy five WPM range. Hopefully he will find balance soon.

When Jax presented me with his library book for practice reading, I was less than excited.  Junie B. Jones was in the Top 100 Banned or Challenged Books for a reason in my book!  Seriously, the child who needs to work on his behavior and reading fluency is sent home with this book. Does he really need to the study poor social values of a main character known for her mouthiness and bad grammar?  Is that what it will take to seduce him into reading or will this just help expand his impulsive shenanigan repertoire?

There is a conservative streak inside me that advocates phonics and the belief that children should be taught proper spelling and grammar from the outset. They will have a lifetime of whole language!  They are already well versed in the vernacular! Can I learn to embrace the misspellings and other errors as long as my child engages in reading? This slapstick and vulgar style definitely approaches the needs of the most common child and Jackson does seem to enjoy reading it.

Every time Junie struggles with Junie grammar, my teeth itch. Subject and object pronouns are beyond her reach as are possessives.  Her adverbs lack the "ly' suffix.  She is incapable of conjugating irregular past tense verbs.  Hearing Jackson read words like funnest and beautifuller make me C-R-I-N-G-E. 

Here I sit in judgment, the most fallible person on the planet.  The one who openly admits to having made mistakes in every area of my life, errors including social as well as grammatical ones. This less than perfect mom will never attempt to raise an oxymoron, aka the 'perfect child'.  It might be time to normalize my expectations. My children might not strive to be the literary scholar I desire to become nor will they necessarily dedicate their lifetime to studying British Literature. They might not dream of me someday chaperoning them during their studies at Oxford. Que triste. 

In the end, I realize I am unwilling to implement radical censorship, particularly when they are only reading early chapter books. As long as they do not use Junie in the same sentence with Pippi or Eloise, I will be OK.

Click this link is to listen to Weird Al Yankovic's New Song That Will Teach You Everything You Need To Know About Grammar

At the Car Wash

The children and I LOVE to travel. It must run in the family because my grandmother always said "Call me, my middle name is GO!"  With so many friends and family so far away, we have even learned to have fun on our car trips. True story.

Now, there is nothing like the aftermath of the kids riding in the car for 8 hours and the cleanup is not the fun part. I have this fantasy that we someday go on this incredibly long road trip and we get back and the van magically disappears and I have a brand new shiny clean vehicle!  That has not happened yet, so we went to the car wash today. 

The kids love the car wash. The novelty never wears off. It is a magical place because when they are there, all three willingly clean!  It is nice to have a fresh, clean start even if it is just in our old beater van. 

Today was a fresh start for Jackson too under his behavioral contract at school. His teacher said that he was "fantastic" and he completed all his work at school! We have had a nice relaxing time at home tonight as well. The kids had extra playtime with their Legos and I continued to purge clutter from the house.  All in all it was a good day. 

Austin had a good day as well it seems. He said, "Mommy, I changed my name today. You see, I am the Big King Leader of my friends at school. They need to call me Skull, so you start calling me Skull too."  We all had a good laugh over that one. 

Here are some photos from the car wash so you can see the magic for yourself. 

The soap party is just getting started. 

Neon bubbles...

Soap Nadder is coming!

Vacuum hurdles. 

Monkey see, monkey do!

ALS - More Chilling Than an Ice Water Challenge on a Hot Summer Day

Growing up, I only knew ALS by the name Lou Gehrig's disease.  I did not know who Lou Gehrig was nor did I know my grandfather who was killed by the disease.  All I knew was that the disease was horrible and filled my family with fear and pain and robbed me of a grandfather. 

My grandfather was a faithful husband, loving father and a strong, successful man who operated a construction company.  He worked on large infrastructure projects around the United States at a time when the country was expanding its infrastructure rapidly.  He had the honor of working on the Hoover Dam, the Keller Memorial Bridge in Decatur and several other  cantilever truss bridges noted by the Historic American Engineering Record at the Library of Congress. Even as a child, I loved the verbal historical legacy that lived on through my grandfather's work. When we would travel and see one of his large projects, I loved that the fruits of his labor lived on despite his life being taken.


It was less than six months from the first time my grandfather stumbled until his once large and strong body withered away and he slowly suffocated as his wife and two daughters helplessly watched him die.   After he lost his voice, my grandmother bought him a stamp pad and alphabet stamps to stamp out messages to communicate. Eventually, he could not even pick the stamps up and he just laid there powerless, completely in his right mind, suffering until the end.


The cause of ALS is not completely understood, and scientific understanding regarding the physiology of this disease has changed over time.  When I was young, I heard that my grandfather's exposure to chemical warfare during World War II was the reason he had ALS. Before my mother had children, she was told the disease was not hereditary.  As a teen, I was told there were genetic indicators.  By the time I was pregnant with my third child, I was offered a genetic test to see if I was at risk but I have been too afraid to take the test.  I just do not want to live my life knowing that my life, or the life of my children, could end that way.

A reoccurring nightmare has haunted me since I was little that I would lose the ability to control my muscles.  In my dream I am trying to escape harm and I keep falling and cannot breath.  In real life, I have heard the stories of my grandfather's battle with ALS and have watched two of my friends die from this disease.  The disease has been my nightmare but it is horrifically real and powerful.

My children all took the "Ice Water Challenge" Sunday.  They just got wrapped up in the moment and peer pressure and the fun of it all.  I did not explain to them why the challenge bothered me because they are too young to understand, nor would I want them to at their ages.  Just know that the shock, the discomfort, the inability to breathe during the challenge is just temporary and it's a minor inconvenience compared to what those whose suffer from the disease endure.  Hopefully one day, research will be supported enough to find a cure. Until then, I will continue to support the research as I always have.

Can't Get There From Here

Today I cried a puddle of tears. Every down moment, I just felt very overwhelmed and worried about what to do about Jackson. My life has been so screwed up for about three years now I had about given up worrying. Think I will take up not worrying again tomorrow because I can't continue like this.

First I spent considerable time on the phone with my insurance provider to determine if they would pay for Jackson's testing. Ultimately their answer was no.  Now what?  The school tells me he needs testing and medication but the insurance says pay for the $1450 test out of pocket. What do I do?  I called the counselor back to see if they had any ideas but haven't heard back. Then Jackson's teacher called and we talked about a behavioral contract agreement and some interim solutions. I feel mildly better. 

Austin got into the car after school and said he accidentally got into trouble today at school. I asked him what he accidentally did. He said he didn't walk to class, he bear crawled because he wanted to bear crawl to class. We discussed doing something because you want to is not an accident. 

This weekend, I had a zen like retreat at Mary's artsy sparsely decorated farmhouse. Since then, I have daydreamed about living in a home without clutter and chaos. Tonight, Donna 911 came over. We threw away and or gave away one half of the kids toys in the playroom. The kids don't have what they need and they have too much of the things they don't need. We have to get our life back into balance. 

My marital home was a 6400 square foot 7 bedroom, 5 bath house. My divorcee rental house is a 2,000 square foot 3 bedroom, 1 bath house. I feel like I've been living in a storage unit for the past two years!  I need to streamline my life and get back to the basics. 

On a lighter note, this morning was crazy as usual. I asked Holland if she was ready and she said yes, that she was going dressed as a cafeteria worker today. She walked in like this. At least we had a good laugh. (No, she didn't actually go to school like this).