Parents Behaving Badly - Youth Sports

As parents, are we sending the wrong message to our children by our spectator behavior at their youth sporting events?  Are parents now exempt from demonstrating good sportsmanship?  Kids naturally do not like it when their parents conflict with other parents, coaches or game officials and parental behavior is a major influence on children.  Violence and verbal abuse is not proper behavior at youth sports events and is not an acceptable way to teach our children to solve disagreements on the field or in life. We  need to take a time out and remember why we are attending the game and that is for our children.

This weekend, I went to three different youth sporting events which prompted this blog.  At one high school event, the police were called on a parent for acting out (yelling profanities at other parents) in the stands.  At another event, I would have felt more comfortable if the police were present.  A crazed fan parent was ejected from the game for their mid-play demanding coaching and arguing with the officials.  The parent even snuck back into the venue before the game was over only to be removed again.  All of that over a 7 and 8 year old Saturday afternoon basketball game.

Lets slow down and consider the perspective of our children who have (hopefully) chosen to be athletes.  They joined the world of sports with hopes and dreams of having fun, learning the sport, developing skills and hanging out with their friends.  As parents, do we not all share the common goals for our children to have a healthier lifestyle and develop character-building values like teamwork, dedication and discipline from their participation in sports?

As parents, do we ever stop and consider how our children want us to behave as their parents?  In general, young athletes group parents into three categories: supportive parent, demanding coach or a crazed fan.  Kids view "attentive silence" during play and supportive cheering and encouragement and praise as ideal parental behavior.  From there, we move into two types of unwanted parent behavior.  Parents become demanding coaches when "critical encouragement", or backhanded instruction, is screamed at them often during inappropriate times. Parents join the dark side and morph into crazy fans once they demonstrate angry and aggressive behaviors that are distracting or embarrassing.

My parental view on this subject might be different than some parents but lets keep it real.  We can't relive our sporting careers, or have one, through our children.  We can't truly expect every child to purse the lottery-like chance of making a college team or playing professional sports because that is the exception, not the rule.  Having played youth sports myself, my expectations are age-appropriate, managed and low.

As parents, lets do our part to create a fun, enjoyable environment for youth sports.  Lets teach our kids to be competitive and play a fair game.  Take a stand against parental unsportsmanlike behavior. Shouldn't we do our part to show our children how to win or lose with class?

DISCLAIMER:
I tend to go to another extreme and channel my intensity with positive cheering.  That is easy for me since we live in a small town and I generally know most of the players.  It is also easier because my three children are ten and under, so there is not a lot at stake rather they win or lose.  I am happy for every child that does well out on the field or on the court and indiscriminately cheer for the child regardless of the team. My six year old brought my zealous behavior to my attention when he photographed what he called my "one woman wave" attempt when I was cheering in the crowd. Yeah, I will be working on reining myself in as well.

(photo pending)