The Days Are Long but the Years Are Short

Jackson's teacher emailed me today because Jackson got into trouble for burping his ABC's at lunch. What is it with little boys and body function humor at the table? Sometimes I feel like I am forced to share my meals with tiny versions of Jim Carey. It drives me completely insane. The guys at work assure me ABC burping and armpit farting are perfectly normal little boy activities and no great cause for alarm.

Judging from the teacher's email, I thought Jackson would be stringing a few troublesome days together. It quickly became evident it was Austin's turn. When I rushed from work to after school care, Austin left the building ahead of us. As we opened the front doors of the school, there was Austin, in all his glory, peeing on a tree in the front schoolyard. As a single mom, I certainly did NOT teach him that!

Below is a clip of Austin's soccer performance while he was on the bench. His on the field performance was just as energetic and unproductive.  At the end of the game, I had to race to another field to give Holland something.  When I got back, I realized during the post game lineup, Austin had taken a water gun, filled with his ice cold water, out onto the field and squirted everyone in the lineup instead of shaking hands. Thankfully, the other players appreciated the relief from the heat and were not angry.  Not telling what the parents thought of me.  I wanted to run and hide.

Jackson and Holland both had games immediately following Austin's game. That is always fun, trying to be in two places at once. Jackson played a good game. They do not have a goalie at his age, so he played sweeper and striker and scored 3 of 7 points for the team. The game tied and went into overtime and a PK and we will just pretend I know the ending score. By the time the game was over, I was too tired to pay attention.

Holland had a great game as well.  She played goalie and striker.  One of the parents told me Holland is considered one of the two fastest girls in the league.  Don't know if that is true or not put it sounds impressive. There is one thing for certain, that girl is competitive, aggressive and loves the game.  Her game was also tied and ended in a PK and the team lost.  Here are a few shots of Holland in action.  I had never really considered face protection for soccer goalies until I saw Holland play the position!  It might be a blessing I only saw half of the game.

My day had seemed long up to this point, or so I had thought.  Three soccer games, two going into over time, I was past ready to get home.  I had to stop at the gas station because I had been driving on E since picking them up from school.  I do not know what went wrong.  I heard the pump click and thought it had shut off.  When I grabbed the pump handle, what happened next made me think of a scene from Zoolander, only thankfully I mine was a solo scene.

After dousing myself with gasoline, I got into the car and Holland had a nosebleed. Triaged Holland's nose and proceeded to the drive-through because I realized I needed to shower ASAP and these kids are not going to be able to wait for me to shower first.  Cruising, windows down, trying to pretend everything is just fine and I was not in the least bit freaked out over anything.  Ordered our food and when we drove to the pickup window, Austin jumped up out of his seat, leaned over and sang 'What to do with that big fat butt -wiggle, wiggle, wiggle' to the poor teenage girl working the window. Thankfully Austin is cute and the girl had a sense of humor, even when I had lost mine.

After getting the kids settled to eat, I raced through a quick shower.  Started the washer with all of my gas soaked clothes and suddenly realized the house was quiet.  All the kids had put themselves to bed and had covered themselves up and had fallen asleep.  I did not disturb them, even though they were in their soccer uniforms, because I was ready to put the day behind us.  In the morning, I discovered Holland had even slept in her shin guards and socks. Mom of the year alert!

Laborious Day

Our Labor Day was a holiday only from our normal routine.  Photographing the wedding this weekend limited our options for travel which was really desirable. We desperately needed a reprieve.  By nature, we require downtime but taking that time does not come naturally.  

My boys had visited their grandparent's on Saturday while Holland and I attended the wedding. They had invited us back on Labor Day to "Get Our ATV On" as Jackson puts it.  When we arrived, their grandmother mentioned that one of the boys had clogged up their toilet and now neither toilet was working properly, so the grandfather might have to stay behind to complete the repair.  After interrogating the boys to verify we were dealing only with an abundance of toilet paper and not a lodged action figure, I told their grandparents that I could fix this.  Just give me some Dawn dish washing detergent, boiling water and about thirty minutes and we would all be on our way together.

Hearing that from my former self would probably, and rightfully, invoke fear in anyone.  In married life, I did no outside house chores (even including taking the trash out) and any house repair would not have been considered.  Funny how quickly self-preservation takes over when you are single and only have one toilet!  I am a self taught plumber now.

I do not know why the grandparents entertained my idea but they did and ultimately, I indeed repaired their toilets.  It occurred to me this was the first 'shitty situation' I had to fix with them that my children were responsible for creating.  I was thankful that despite the wretchedness that was my marriage and divorce, we were somehow able to work together through it all for the benefit of our children.  

Laborious repairs behind us, we headed out to the family land for some recreation.  The kids enjoyed taking turns riding their ATV.  Their driving/riding styles are consistent with their personalities.  Holland is extremely cautious. Jackson is all-out fast and furious effort except when it comes to creek crossing. He says he does not like to disturb nature, so he passes very slowly.  In reality, he passes slowly so he can stop, go back and catch a frog and then continue. Austin is just a carefree passenger along for the ride.  During their down time, I enjoyed exploiting their child labor to help clean up around the picnic pavilion.

We returned earlier than usual so that the kids could finish their chores and we could relax a little at home.  Jackson was not concerned about disturbing nature when he brought two frogs home with him in my car.  When we got home, everyone got busy tidying the place except for Jackson who was concerned about setting up a habitat for his frogs.

Next, something totally unfamiliar happened.  There was a point yesterday when my house was clean and I sat down on the sofa and attempted to watch television.  It was such an unfamiliar event that I did not enjoy it long before I remembered a million and one little things I could be doing instead.

Here is a photo of the family lego build the kids spent some time on yesterday. They were doing some city planning and building a neighborhood.  They invited me to join in but I declined in order to do laundry and I just observed from afar. Jackson said they were having so much fun that he thought they just made a memory!

Last night, Jackson could not sleep because he had growing pains in his legs. He immediately had my sympathy because I was tormented by growing pains as a child.  The poor kids was restless and I tried desperately, for his sake and mine, to help him fall asleep.  Finally, I suggested that we go together and sleep on the sectional in the living room.  He could lay in the recliner and elevate his legs and I could lay nearby and be there if he needed me.  This seemed like the perfect solution at one am!  Jackson quickly went to sleep.  

I, however, could not sleep.  I laid there thinking that my alarm was going off somewhere in the house.  What was that noise?  It sounded like a muffled, chirping noise and I could not quite place from where it was coming.  I kept checking my phone to make sure I had not overslept.

This morning, Jackson bounced right up off that couch raring to go.  He raced over to an aquarium I had failed to notice.  Inside sat his two latest frogs and the frogs began to croak.  They mystery of the phantom alarm was solved. Ultimately, was I more disturbed by the frog's relocation than nature?